The Shanghai Ocean Aquarium grabbed two random penguins who could be arch rivals for all they know and threw them into a lucite box strapped to a boa-covered Audi kids car. Then they drove them through a crowd of kids and cell phone cameras, and put an ugly Ren Faire floral headband over each of their heads as terrifying giant penguins with mutant hips hovered above them. ROMANCE! I’m sure as soon as their hearts came back to their bodies after jumping out of their beaks from the horrifying sight of those Penguinzillas, they had a beautiful moment together as newlyweds. Or they pooped on each other’s feet and the husband penguin stole the wife penguin’s fish (not a euphemism). ROMANCE: See it for yourself:
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