Ask Judy
Dear Judy,
My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for 8 months. I feel like whenever we hang out with our friends he goes out of his way to put me down. He also puts me down when we are alone. He calls me names, he criticizes
me and says very hurtful things. How can someone who tells me he loves me insult me and make me feel so worthless?
I love him and want to work this out. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Hopelessly in love
Dear Hopelessly in Love,
Eight months, let alone, 8 days or 8 minutes is too long to accept or endure this type of treatment toward you. The
sad fact that he calls you names, criticizes you & says hurtful things to you has NOTHING to do with you. He’s the one with a problem. He is insecure, inferior & in therapy is where he should be!
He obviously feels good when he makes others feel bad…nothing to do with you. You are a child of God, born in perfection the way He planned it. Love does not hurt. Love does not hurt. Yes, I said it twice in the hope that you will let it seep into your brain & into your heart!! When a man loves you, he will raise you up, lift you up, and be SO proud of you, that when he’s around his friends, he has nothing but wonderful things to say about you.
So now, what to do? You know what to do, you’re just afraid. Don’t you allow this to go on one more day!! If you don’t put a stop to this now, I fear one day, before you know it, he might shove you, or worse. Put your foot down, hold your head up…and tell him that if he wants you, he can no longer say or do things, in front of others or in private, that make you feel less than loved.
If he does not change or if he tells you that you’re being silly, or too sensitive, walk away. Love does not hurt! Big hug. You can do it!
Love,
Judy
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